[RYSLIG] IC Inbox

[beatemall]

< BadMachine2004 > — normal handle
< KidArachnid > — used for hero work
< Sunflower > — anonymous posting

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HONESTLY yeah, just blanket cw: mass suicide/sacrifice talk all the way down

[beatemall]

[It pulls a tired smile across his face.]

yea nah youre right
it is better
not just for you or me but i think its good for everyone

[Anyone can wear the mask. Robin can wear the mask. Spider-Man is something that is embodied, not a singular person who exists. And Spider-Man is a harbinger of hope, of relentless underdog optimism.

But even then, as Robin speaks of the events just weeks prior, Miles can feel that weight descending down on him again, his head buoyed over the torrent of discomfort by the fact that she stayed away from the mess herself.]

good im
im glad you didnt
youre not selfish at all
you still did the right thing protecting people and thats what matters

[It's what he should've done, in retrospect. Maybe then he wouldn't have to look at the ugly knot festering inside of him, full of regret and budding self-hatred that he's still desperately trying to keep down.]

im just worried because now its becoming pretty obvious that this shit happens often
and we gotta keep making sure we stay safe when the next big thing comes
but...how?

[grivences]

It's like eating your vegetables.
It's not always easy or fun, but it's good to do anyway.

Someone once told me that things here have a tendency to escalate.
I'm kind of afraid to see what escalation from the world almost ending will look like.
But regardless of what comes, we have to just keep trying to live our lives as usual.
If you learn about the nightmares happening all the time, but you let them stop you from going about your day...
Then the nightmares win.

cw: depression

[beatemall]

[Survival isn't the same as living. Miles knows that, has always held fast to the things that make life worth living. He'd leap blindly, holding his faith that things would end up alright... But being in Ryslig has made him scared, anxious of what could leap back at him from the bottom.

Maybe having allies makes it a little bit easier. Like his Spider-people, having friends like Robin—people who are the same as him in the ways that matter—makes enduring it all easier. Even still, when will they stop having to endure? When will the sun rise on a day where it doesn't feel like he's fighting just to keep his head above the water?]

yea i know
i know we have to keep going cause if we give up that means ryslig wins

but its so hard robin
i just want to hug my dad again
i want to eat my moms cooking
ive fought so many villains ive held my uncle as he died in my arms
but this is still the hardest fucking thing ive ever had to do

it isnt fair man

[grivences]

No. It isn't fair.

[ Nothing in Robin's life has really been "fair," lately. But usually when one thing goes to shit, something else will come along that's good. She got kidnapped by Russians, but got a new best friend out of it. She got kidnapped by the Fog God, but met people like Miles and Vash.

If the bad things keep on coming, but the good things stagnate...

Robin doesn't want to think about what she'll do then. ]

I don't really know what to say to make it better.
I don't know if there's anything I can say.

But we have each other.
So, next time I see you, you're getting a hug.
I may not be your dad, but I've still got arms.

[beatemall]

[There's nothing that can be said to make it better, and they both know that. The sentiment, at the very least is a nice one. That even if he can't have his family, he isn't completely alone, is really the only thought that keeps him afloat here.]

its ok
just knowing you got my back is enough robin
and thank you
again
for checking up on me

[At the mention of a hug though, Miles feels his chest tighten.

He's been so afraid of touching others since developing his decay magic that he's desperate for physical contact. It was always so natural before. The bump of a fist or a dap between friends, the strong embrace of his father's arms, the way his mom would cup his face and pepper him with kisses. Physical affection was something Miles used to give out with reckless abandon, but now....]

i could use a hug i think

[grivences]

[ You know... Maybe Robin could use a hug, too. She was never really a hug fan of affectionate physical contact. Something about the feeling of arms around her usually makes her feel penned in, trapped, instead of safe and loved like a hug is supposed to make you feel. When Robin stops to think about whether she needs a hug, it's less about craving the intimate touch of a loved one, and more about whether she needs concrete proof or reassurance that someone is close by who cares about her. A hug wouldn't feel good, but it might make the anxious buzzing in her brain slow down for a minute. ]

I get off my shift at Poundmates in half an hour.
If you can wait that long.
If not, you can always stop by here, for a hug and bonus cute, fluffy animals.

[beatemall]

[It's sudden, and with the suggestion of actually going out to see someone, Miles realizes that he probably looks like shit. No amount of showering could freshen up a corpse that hasn't eaten its monthly human meal in awhile, who's also on the tail end of a manic-depressive episode.

...But knowing that it'd be Robin he's seeing buoys him, ever so slightly. She's safe, and that's a comfort that's just enough justification for him to send his reply:]

ill try not to look and smell like a sad zombie hermit and head on over
itd be nice to pet some animals
hopefully no dogs try to eat me tho